Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Would be foolsih to be in a relationship with Kerry A. Moore II
I look upon this weekend, and notice I am not happy. I look at others and realize that I am making very few people happy. I'm not telling them what they want to hear. Words are tools, but actions are powerful. These past 4 weeks Arteria and I have not been on the same page. She doesnt trust me with Brianna but more importantly I ve been feeling ice cold around her. It seems we dont vibe. Nothing is smooth with us nor natural. Work and school has been her agenda for the past four weeks.... at least thats what she tells me. At first she says its me wanting to baby and wanting her to be around me all the time. Man them words sound familiar. Started to think it was me and maybe she was right. So I sat back and relaxed; kept my distance from her. She never knew how cold she was to me even if I told her; she still had her mindset on what was going on. At the sametime i see a warm heart around her friends. Especially Jeremy and Daija. Arteria has one of the biggest hearts that i seen, yet some how it was lost between us. Never really smiled around me, always frustrated with me, never happy with me. Everything she hasnt experience i tried to give to her. Never been treated out to eat, I did that more than once. Never been treat to the movies; treated her and her best friend out. Never recieved a gift; gave her favorite flowers for sweeties day. Yet she still remained cold. Finally i told her, we really needed to talk. I told her this on Friday. Honestly I just wanted to know why has she been acting this way. Saturday comes and she works, then she decides to go to the homecoming game. Its coo with me, as long I could just have 15 minutes out the day to talk to her. Later on that day I asked her about hanging out. I figured maybe we could talk then. She says no, and that she has to study. Ok.... Later I find out that she going out with her friends. (Was the talk not important to her? or maybe she just trying to avoid me. I didnt kno) At that point i thought maybe she doesnt feel the same way she did and thought we should just be friends. A woman who told me she doesn't do clubs in the name of GOD, but decides to go tonight. She wanted to do something for "her." Man at that point i saw everything clear as day. We just need to be friends. The reaction i got when i told her. Pissed, anger, and cuss said at me. She says its our decision and not yours Kerry. First time in a long time I even heard the word us. Again, I know she has a kind heart. I seen that in her last relationship. I dont question her thoughts, i just question her actions. Thats all i wanted to ask her is why? Maybe I am not prepared to hear the answer just yet.
As this was going on, i start to run into some other issues. One of my exgurlfriend trying to make this comeback. Honestly all i really see her right now as a friend. Her sister is pushing the fact that we were meant to be together. I keep telling them that its not going to happen, more importantly I don't want it to happen. In a way that hurt her. Made her feel depress which i dont want her to feel. I could be best of friends with her, but she is always going to want more from me. This issue do not look like it is going to die easy. I do not want to be mean about it but i might have to start ignoring her. Later on that day, i get a text from one of my old homegurls. I liked when we was just friends. She made this drastic change. The once shy friend I had is now gone. Now it's just this horny gurl who wants to fuck. She not stopping either. Persistant and confident, which im not use to, is her characteristics. Has she forgotten I had a gurlfriend? Or does that even matter these days? I never told her I broke up with Brianna, so why this change? I can't even see her the same now. Third, i was told by a another friend of mind that she has this feeling. I ask her if its a good feeling. She thinks about it and says yes. I told her to act upon this feeling but she tells me she can't. I ask her why, and she just tell me she can't. I get the picture. After what she done in her past, if it has to do with me its never going to happen. Guaranteed. To be honest, I only can see two people who I possible want to be with. One has a cold heart towards me and is working on herself. She is turning to God and changing her ways. The other is also working on herself and has suprised me by the words she has said. Its interesting how I interact with Arteria and Brianna. I should tell them it would take a fool to want a relationship with me? I just can't succeed in doing the right thing to keep either of them happy. And it seems they are both happy without me. :) I am glad they are!
As this was going on, i start to run into some other issues. One of my exgurlfriend trying to make this comeback. Honestly all i really see her right now as a friend. Her sister is pushing the fact that we were meant to be together. I keep telling them that its not going to happen, more importantly I don't want it to happen. In a way that hurt her. Made her feel depress which i dont want her to feel. I could be best of friends with her, but she is always going to want more from me. This issue do not look like it is going to die easy. I do not want to be mean about it but i might have to start ignoring her. Later on that day, i get a text from one of my old homegurls. I liked when we was just friends. She made this drastic change. The once shy friend I had is now gone. Now it's just this horny gurl who wants to fuck. She not stopping either. Persistant and confident, which im not use to, is her characteristics. Has she forgotten I had a gurlfriend? Or does that even matter these days? I never told her I broke up with Brianna, so why this change? I can't even see her the same now. Third, i was told by a another friend of mind that she has this feeling. I ask her if its a good feeling. She thinks about it and says yes. I told her to act upon this feeling but she tells me she can't. I ask her why, and she just tell me she can't. I get the picture. After what she done in her past, if it has to do with me its never going to happen. Guaranteed. To be honest, I only can see two people who I possible want to be with. One has a cold heart towards me and is working on herself. She is turning to God and changing her ways. The other is also working on herself and has suprised me by the words she has said. Its interesting how I interact with Arteria and Brianna. I should tell them it would take a fool to want a relationship with me? I just can't succeed in doing the right thing to keep either of them happy. And it seems they are both happy without me. :) I am glad they are!
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