Just shut up and listen

I wish I can these are all happy times, but I really can't. I'm lost and confused. Frustrated and sad, lost at the fact that I can't really do anything to help resolve this situation. I want to be this pillow in which she can lay her head down and relax. I don't know how to explain it. He cheers her up so easily..... i wish i could, or be that silly. A title means so much, but maybe this title is tainted. Maybe i want something I can't have or so desperately want. Then again maybe its not what i need right now. I agree she does care, and she wants this to work. The selfish part of me wants us to be together, and for us to work it out. In reality it's not right! So i have to let her figure out life on her own. Its honestly what she wants to do, I am not going to make the same mistake twice and push for anything. I found myself quiet, and just listening. I think I might do that for a while..... voicing my opinion never did me right, nor did it matter (accept for my parents). Can't say much these days. Im still scared for the summer, and although my heart was still open, it closed up some tonight. Well not closed, but well guarded. I can't people to understand the thoughts that appear in my head, NOT ONE PERSON. Lol, so why not keep them to myself. Every time i try i fail in changing people with my words, actions are temporary. So at this point i will shut my eyes, shut my mouth, and just open my ears. Keep what I have to say inside of me.

Ms. Beauty

You know whats been on my mind as of late. The beach... the place where i can go, relaxing, and have an empty mind. The last time i went, I saw a full ocean, with deep dark water. I was so happy to see the ocean replenished. For the first time, I saw something unique at the beach, and I want to experience it again. The only thing is, its hard to predict when its going to come out again, and when it is not going to be cloudy. It was like a dream...... I had to pinch myself. It was like she attracted me to her. At that time, I never seen her so damn beautiful. One of these days i gotta take my gurl to see her. Lol she met her before, but I don't think she paid attention. Maybe i need to formally introduce them next time, LOL. I hope they get along. I will be coming to her soon, she just going to have to be patient.

Can I be Superman?

Over the last couple days, I have been in some serious thought. I want it to work past no ends but there are a few road blocks that i must get around before I achieve this. Its nothing new to me, I have done it before. My last relationship it took a good six months for her to really trust me. So I do understand the trust issue. Sometimes i wish I would have been there in the beginning. The reason why I say this is because people mold the way you think, and sometimes the way you feel. My last relationship, I hope i mold her for the better, so the obstacles I had to face, the next boyfriend will not have to face. Yet I am in this dilemma with this gurl..... who have always been molded negatively by past relationships. I know she has a kind heart, I see it, I feel it, I can look in her eyes and just tell. I can also tell she has a lot pain in her heart, i can see that at night. Sometimes i watch her, and thoughts in her mind are not a peace. One day she told me that made me think hard, and long. It concerns her that i am thinking like that. Yeah, I cant lie, it hurts my heart, but I am not the person to give up that easy. That night I was thinking of a way to open her heart once again if its possible. How did I do it last time? or was it a miracle? In either case, I need to think of something without hurting her. Once again I failed love, I failed in my last relationship. I tried to be superman ...... when i just realized I only can be Kerry Alfred Moore II. I see myself trying to being superman once again. I guess i really feel passionate about my relationships. I learned that michelle adams didnt fail me, i more than likely failed . My best was not enough, so next time i have to push myself beyond what i think im capable of. You never realize things until time has pass. I guess thats God's way of teaching us life lessons.
I see that everyone is a passionate mood, but behind the scenes people are struggling to keep there relationship going. So secretive.......... i figure if there making it, then i can. Its about time for me to grow some. I guess i need to go to one of my favorite spots and just think. I worry about others so much, i forget to let others worry about me. Social life is so damn difficult..... so can Kerry Alfred Moore II be superman? Should I be superman...... i guess now is the time to test that out.



In the minds and thought of KAM II