October 8th

Today was an interesting day, filled with thoughts. My gurls going through a delimma, and as she explained it me, I had a chilling thought. Maybe i was wrong. The idea of leaving your friends for the your significant other. She feels bad about how she and her friend relationship went downhill. Her friend blames it on me. I thought that was perposterous, but as time went on we have been spending alot of time together. So maybe D is right. Yet when D is with her boy.....she blows my gurlfriend off. She feeling sad because she believed its all her fault. This idea of friends vs significant other is playing in my head once again. I remember how mad I use to get when my X would do things with her friends. Its cool with me to hang out with your friends sometimes but dont neglect your boyfriend either. This time the oppisite has happen.... having too much care for your bf, and neglecting your friends. So what we did is separate ourselves and only limit it to the weekend in hopes that she will regevenate D and her relationship. I beleive that the relationship rest in D hands and not my gurl. Yet she is so stuck on her boyfriend that she is not willing to make and effort to fix their relationship. The good thing is arteria and her best friend can develop a deeper relationship, which i know will make her happy. That i do want! I look back and i feel bad. Did I hinder the development of deeper relationship with bri's friends. She has develop a deeper relationship with some of her friends. I know it makes her happy. School was always an issue between me and bri..... always claiming she had homework to do, but still hanging with her friends a lot of the time, not all the time. :) the time me and arteria have spend helped her gain more trust in me. In which i kinda wish me and bri would have done. In a way im glad she has develop more love for her friends. In I hope arteria cheers up soon. If her and doyin relationship develops again because of the absents of me, then i know what i must do. In the end, i just wish for both Arteria and Bri's happiness.

October 6

October 6 was an interesting day to say the least. I started to have flashbacks about the all the summ1er situation, that i found interesting to put me in the perdicument I was in that day. We went to the mall, to help my sister's shop for some clothing. Went to the story and it hit me that today was October 6. O shit, and wow, got a little emotion, angry, and concerned. To distract myself i just kept helping them shop for clothing. We went to applebee's and wished arteria could have went, but she had to work. She claims we always do something when she at work. Came to the mall and was lathargic from all that food. I wonder how they had managed to combat the sleepiness. Must be a gurls thing. So we went from store to store. Eventually they decided to American Greetings. Its where michelle works at. Im feeling kind of embarrassed because I ve really havent talked to her much. Even though i have made a few attempts to try to see how she is doing. Really never answered back. As soon as she seen me, I kind of turned away. "Its like that now" Really wasn't because of her but because of me. Yet I really didnt want to explain it in public. So they talked a lil bit, and we left. I knew i was going to hear about whenever she got off of work. I was counting on it! The next stop was finish line, and my o my, thats where arteria's x work at. Good thing is we didn't say much. Just had a bad vibe, and increased tension between us. So as the night went on, i wanted to check to see how my x was doing. Text the first time, and really didnt get an answer. Thought she might have been busy, so i got the feeling to text the second time, and she popped up. It was wierd because i felt some pain when we talked. Actually discovered some actions, in which i apolgized for. At the same time michelle texts me saying thats how its going to be. I told her i was complete wrong (which in a way she didnt answer n e way) and i was sorry for the way i treated her as of late. Lol for the first time ever... she called out my full name. I told her y i acted like that in the mall, and how embarrassed I felt about the situation. Never got a reponse back. I was wonder talking to Bri, it was intersting how the convosation went along. I have alot to tell her. Alot to explain. So my gurlfriend calls me up and says she on her way. At the time i was setting up the bath water to take a nice hot bath. Told bri was going to jump in. I unlocked the door and jumped in the bath. So i was telling arteria about the whole day today and she just listened and gave an opinon on the today. Finished my bath, felt refreshed, and laid in the bed. I guess yesterday was not just an emotional day for YOU BUT ME TOO. I had alot on my mind, and wondered how did i allow these situations to develop. Looked at my phone and watched 11:59 pm Oct 6 turn into the new day. Laid down with arteria and headed to sleep.