Sadest week of my life

I have to say, i have never work so hard to fall so flat on my face. Im crushed, disassembled, and lost to explain how this weekend have gone so far. Everyone is so on track. And me? im just a former shell of myself. Conquered, foiled, and crumbling. People say you make your own luck. Well as of late, luck has been taken away from me. Prayer and hope are all a false since of security that blinded me in the past. Hard work do not equal success, its just another false since. I guess everything happens for a reason, and in some since maybe there is something greater that will happen to me in the future. But for right now, i feel as if i had fallen to the every lasting grip of darkness and dispair, deeply thinking in my mind that maybe im wrong about hope and prayer. So far, it doesnt look like the end is in site, nor am i wrong about this dispair that im feeling towards life right now. NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I FELT SO ALONE IN THE DARK! LET MY SOUL BE HUMBLED