Just shut up and listen

I wish I can these are all happy times, but I really can't. I'm lost and confused. Frustrated and sad, lost at the fact that I can't really do anything to help resolve this situation. I want to be this pillow in which she can lay her head down and relax. I don't know how to explain it. He cheers her up so easily..... i wish i could, or be that silly. A title means so much, but maybe this title is tainted. Maybe i want something I can't have or so desperately want. Then again maybe its not what i need right now. I agree she does care, and she wants this to work. The selfish part of me wants us to be together, and for us to work it out. In reality it's not right! So i have to let her figure out life on her own. Its honestly what she wants to do, I am not going to make the same mistake twice and push for anything. I found myself quiet, and just listening. I think I might do that for a while..... voicing my opinion never did me right, nor did it matter (accept for my parents). Can't say much these days. Im still scared for the summer, and although my heart was still open, it closed up some tonight. Well not closed, but well guarded. I can't people to understand the thoughts that appear in my head, NOT ONE PERSON. Lol, so why not keep them to myself. Every time i try i fail in changing people with my words, actions are temporary. So at this point i will shut my eyes, shut my mouth, and just open my ears. Keep what I have to say inside of me.