Was it really me?

A friend of mine told me today that " I cant really open up to you anymore." I can imagine why? Time and time again i find myself on people's "shit list." When i do help.... I end up messing it up. When I dont help, I end up not being called a true friend. I mean what could I say to that person, but I'm sorry. (even though I didnt think it was my fault). It's not often that I am the direct cause of situations (although i have a couple times, and apolgize to those whom I affected). I feel used; a stepping stone for the cause of problems they created on their on. Closing my words to a chosen few. The rest can only read what I think through my facial expressions. If only people listen to me as I try to listen to them. For choosing all of the above-- i lost my friends. But one thing I questioned was my integrity. They have questioned it; should I? I admit, I make mistakes all humans do; but I know most of time I make my decison based on what I think is right. To have former friends question if I am triffling as they say I am is realistic. To look back and see, hear, and sometimes even cry over some decisons, situations I been through over the last year has made me stronger. People are always going to critique your personality and characteristics, but people who love will always critique you for the better and not for their personal gain. Therefore I will keep my love ones close.