Michelle / Valarie

August 17, 2008, a special day for one of the people I care about, comes and i find out i needed to tie some loose ends. At first I was honestly mad at her because i truely wanted her to be my wife. I just needed to see a commitment. But maybe I wasnt clear in my words, or statements. Or maybe she just choose her own happiness at the end. 99.9% of the time people would make that choice. On the other hand .1% that chooses to stay is stupid. Lol but that .1% ends up being your husband or wife. It just shows that commitment towards a relationship and qualities you can build on in the future. Two things happen today that im glad happen. Well first she told me she kissed another guy. That took a lot of guts, and i respect her for that. Second she made the decision for her happiness. It might have took a lot to drag out, but at the end I m glad she made the decision for happiness. Ironically her decision made me happy, because we closed up the uncertainty. I think for the first time, the idk became the words yes or no. At the end of choosing her happiness, she allowed to have mine. Beleive it or not I was willing, and sacraficing my happiness for her because thats how much i loved her. The thing is could she do it for me when that time came? In my mind i was willing to wait to see, but she couldnt go out and have her fun and have me too. That would just make me jealous, lets face it. Although i did break up with her the key word was commitment. Ultimately she did make a commitment, and that was to herself. She is a wonderful, intellegent, goal driven woman who will go far in life, but on 08/17/08 at the age of 21. She decided not to be MY phenomenal woman. And i completely understand, because at the end who would want to go through all that stress accept Kerry Alfred Moore II honestly. Well im still searching for that woman.
On a different note, it opened up new ideas. Her mom and my dad are right in this case. They each gave us the advice not to be to serious. Im just naturally a serious person and like to be in a serious committed relationship, which leads me to my next chapter. A friend of mine started to develop feelings for me, but once again she is confused. She dont whether she wants a relationship now or not. As a twenty year old guy, I can ready bullshit, but this time I think her state of mind is legit. She feels my homeboy a lil, which is natural because every single gurl does, but she actually came to me and said "I love you..." Which shocked me and completed with "more than you will ever know." I treated her as if she was danni. I will do anything for danni, and will do just as much for her. At first I always thought that i would get back with my X. Even after that incident, but GOD works in mysterious ways. Closed up one chapter, and has me wondering about another chapter. Maybe my X did get a little jealous every time i mentioned her name, but on the hand i talked about my x more than i did about her. Mainly it was for advice because she is intellegent and we talk on that level. What attracts me to her is her motherly adidtude. She takes care of everyone she loves. Its something I watch out for when I do see people. Took care of bryan, took care of danni, and EVEN COOKED FOR ME WHEN I WAS SAD. I almost cried when she did that. Thats what good friends are for right? So honestly if the family likes you, then im going to naturally like you and try to take care of you. The question is will she be willing to make a commitment? A lot of woman that I HANG AROUND don't. I hope not that necessarily she an exception ( that would be nice) but i just hope that i will find that exception. I mean who knows, she could become my childs god mother, or she could be my future wife. It just leaves me to be curious, yet in patient.

Just want to mention happy birthday Brianna, and celebrate your 21st birthday like it is your only!

Today im here looking at the jar of money i saved. Im still saving for the same cause, yet I dont know who I am saving it for........................ time will tell